a poem to those who lead with courage and love

#POEMBER #30DAYPOETRYCHALLENGE DAY 20 PROMPT: A WORLD LEADER WHO INSPIRES YOU

this poem is for those

who courageously arose

amidst all the flames

to speak out, unashamed

those who

through the principles of love

channeled guidance from above

leading generations

in fights for their respective nations

for they understood

that a nation is a reflection of those who inhabit it

and when the reflection narrows

including less and less

the inhabitants must

fly like sparrows

in search of righteousness

this poem is for

Ghandi and Dr. King

is for

Mandela

and those visionaries

who showed the world

that peace does not bleed

and nonviolence

will bring us the changes we need

this poem is for

Santana and Lennon

is for

Marley, Maya and Prince

for the artists

the warriors of the like

who had the courage to stand in the light

to dedicate their lives

to the pursuit of truth

through their chosen tools

despite

the obstacles

that against them would fight

this poem is for

the souls who’ve come to earth

and through courage, discipline and love

have given birth

to new perspectives

and freed minds

of all kinds

who’d been enslaved

and caged

this poem is for

the many more

warriors who will come

and are already here

may they rise

free of fear

and through

their chosen tools

through the principles

of love, freedom, justice and nonviolence

lead humanity

towards liberation

and a more accurate reflection of every nation

(C) N.OCASIO (LADY SOI) 2020

alpha female unapologetic

#POEMBER #30DAYPOETRYCHALLENGE PROMPT: TRAUMA/FEAR

the girl was quiet, but profound

didn’t hang around the lost and found; lost but afraid to be found

wandered the world in her mind without ever leaving inside

fears included everything

eyes to the ground

no point in chasing

dreams, for her destiny was written

stared in too many broken mirrors

left the poison apple half bitten

wanted to die but afraid of death

the girl was funny, a light amongst friends

but trapped in a mind which she could not comprehend

outcast syndrome, fell in love with the silence

call it stockholm

a life alone, with no one to play with, no one to phone

a lifetime in isolation, in contemplation

led to many questions, to the acceptance

that many will go unanswered

if insecurity is a kingdom she was the queen

forehead felt like a thousand coals

when she felt seen

born with a want to hide, with no one to seek

she couldn’t understand why

games of who do you want to be?

where she wouldn’t dare utter “me”

why would she want to be herself?

her life was “hell”, her reflection fanned the flames, felt depression before it even had a name

perpetual sorrow, perpetually lonely

only trusted words cause they’re holy

attempted suicide only to find out she didn’t wanna die

traveled across the globe and found a home

maybe she did belong, her thoughts echoed

her soul bellowed

restless heart crooked smile

the quiet girl began to grow up

her heart was shattered

and as she picked up the pieces

she glimpsed into her life

the pieces a mirror, reflecting back the strife

she saw

her back slumped

weighed down by her eternal internal frown

she saw

her forgotten dreams

for this there was no sound

she saw

pieces of what could be

hidden behind the shatters, somehow still untattered

she was engulfed by an energy

that picked her up and sung her to sleep

she awoke

fearless

looked back at the pieces

“fuck you i dont need this”

she screamed

she was loud

making up for the times she was silenced

disavowed

picked up her chin, brushed off the frown

replaced it with a grin

she didn’t want to behave and bow her head

she wanted to be free and dance instead

at a young age took a vow to self to never fit the mold

wasn’t even sure who she told

what this meant

but that day as over the shatters she was bent

the fire crackled and lit

it wasnt too late

for herself to save

brainwashed at a young age

to believe some other equally lost soul was she to behold

as her king, her heaven and hell

he who knew what, for her, was well

explained many of her patterns, her projected trauma

so she vowed to fix what was broken

to re-wire the wires so she could swallow the truth and stop chokin

she stopped waiting for ghosts

for she grew tired of being haunted

hunted by the demons

that projected all the things she was scared to believe in

alpha female

unapologetic

in this story

she saves her self

don’t need a sequel

this life is prophetic

the girl evolved from omniscient third person

to first person

i

am no longer afraid to fly

i no longer want to die

but i accept the truth

and i am not aloof

i am emotion

sensitivty

vulnerability

these are my weapons in this society

so i scream from this page

don’t do what you’re told

unless it’s to reclaim

your narrative, your life, yourself

be free, for you create the heaven and hell

this is my truth

and i dont wanna be aloof

#poember ~ 30 day poetry challenge ~ day 10

TITLE: RESTLESS HEART, CROOKED SMILE

A heart of glass

a river of stone

gentle things

pretty things

of which destruction is not condoned

restless heart, crooked smile

tear it apart

make it worth while

what good is a heart

if it does not shatter

from overuse

whats the point of livin recluse

i say give it your all

and just let loose

dont allow fear to choose

i wanna be where the humans are

i wanna feel them dancin

swingin their hips to the beat of the world

lying on their backs

eyes rolled back

toes curled

life is so beautiful you know?

good and bad must exist

it’s about the balance

that must persist

for far too long

“bad” has tipped the scale

how bout we

let love in

and send the hate straight to hell

#poember ~ day 8 ~ 30 day poetry challenge ~prompt: decisions

TITLE: win or lose? you choose.

whats the difference between a win and a lose?

the choice to shoot the shot

and walk the walk

the choice to get caught

in the negative talk

decisions, decisions

which should i choose

should i kick out the chair

or loosen the noose

i can’t decide if i want to wake up today

the sun shines on my face

as the clouds roll into my head

i cant decide if i want to wake up today

or if im better off dead

decisions, decisions

which should i choose

take the risk of my dreams

or keep my head low and put on the news

a choice, a reflection of your voice

explains why the voiceless so frequently correlates with the choiceless

free will allows us to choose our bed

to lie in it too

indecision steals my will

stepping back into the wheel

robs me of my right to feel

whats right for me

not for the people i see

and the fingers they point

choose this choose that

or you’ll dissapoint

all around me i see

people making decisions

i wonder if they’re all following a vision

or taking stabs in the dark

with pure willingness to embark

i think what holds me back is my doubt

not sure if to choose this or that

what if i choose x and should’ve chose y

what if it creates the wrong timeline?

through analysis ive found

that when you make a choice

you should consider the outcomes

and which one will most align with your voice

sometimes this requires sacrifice

allow old habits to die

so new versions of you may come alive

truly, no choice can end in failure

because all end in experience

and experience shapes behavior

allow yourself to be molded by boldness

let it seep into your pours

as you make confident choices

make a decision

and stick to it

follow through

and let your courage see you through

i hope you choose life today

i hope you choose confidence

i hope you choose peace

and to the indecision lay seige

i hope you believe in yourself

because without belief in a heaven

we’ll all end up in hell

#poember ~ poetry challenge day 7 ~ relationships

TITLE: ONE DAY
an ocean so vast, an enigma so sweet

a field of possibility

of endless interpretation

and infinite defeat

human relationships

have always puzzled me

maybe its because im an only child

maybe its because ive never had one worth while

whatever it is i hope it goes away soon

because i think of genuine human connection and swoon

i love people, i do

but i dont know if people love me too

theres so many relationships to be had

platonic, intimate, good, bad

professional and … the ones that are just plain sad

most relationships seem to mirror the internal aspects of us

“show me your friends, and ill show you who you are”

the human psyche seems to be

the core of the information we see

its interesting because

all that we see is created by us

so maybe thats why my relationships may have always sucked

because of how i saw myself

and the aspects that away i tucked

i long for a place to lay my head

where i can rest

and be as weird as i want, no judgment

no comments about the shit that i said

people who just accept

me, for me.

the purest relationship that could ever be

is the one that recognizes all this for what it is

and sees all beings through that lens

as a reflection of all that exists

confronts others with grace and love

so below

as above

people can only know you as deeply as they’ve known themselves

and most people have only ever known hell

hope grows inside my soul

that as time goes on, more of ourselves we’ll know

and deeper into eachother we’ll come

as we release the judgment

allow all to become

relationships are a mirror

in which to see clearer

the problem is

when we don’t want to see what is

so we smash the mirror

forgetting that the reflection

although in another

is us

and when they suffer

we suffer

and we break human trust

i think honesty is the key

to connecting with someone

i haven’t been too great at it

i must admit

but i am working to get better

one day ill be able to hold your hand

woman or man

one day ill be able to hold your gaze

for days and days

one day ill let you hold me

one day ill tell you all my stories

one day

in the world

there will be true unity

one day

💜💜💜💜💜💖💖💘💘💘💞💞💞💓💓💓💓💓

#poember – Day 4 – something you want to change in the world

TITLE: war is over, if you want it

“who did it?

was it the muslims?

the americans?

the chinese?

the whites?

the blacks?

who was it?”

“humans.

humans killing humans”

man this shit is really a nuisance

cant take a deep breath

without inhaling the bullshit

for centuries

humans have grown on earth

for centuries

to wars we have given birth

since wars begin in the minds of men

it is in the minds of men

the defenses of peace must be established

im tired of hearing about all this havoc

we reap upon ourselves

then try and blame hell

can’t you see that we create this reality?

videos of hate, of death

got me holdin my breath

people praising a icon of hate

not caring about their neighbor

just gossiping about her being late

dont even get me started about roast culture

i swear we be actin like a bunch of vultures

lobsters in a bucket

pushing eachother down to get on top

end up boilin in a pot

what would happen if the lobsters worked together

if they all pushed to one side

instead of pushing eachother down

and of the bucket made a clown

what do i want to see change?

the way humans treat eachother and themselves everyday

kids in schools getting bullied for a cheap laugh

syria getting bombed for a payday

our earth spit on and trashed

i want to see our society be responsible

loving

kind

gracious

responsible

for the people we raise

the shame and guilt we face

and the outcome of our days

i want to see people who can say

hey, im sorry

people who can say

how can i support you?

people who can say

i love you

to a stranger

cause really, whats the danger?

making eye contact

is a lost artifact

i want to see

people who

meet up to have trash clean ups

meet up and actually talk to eachother

not stare at a phone

and ignore one another

i want to see the end of greed

and the rise of love

i want to see the heavens descend from above

the end of conformity

the beginning of originality

you know 99% of people are afraid to be themselves

because theyre afraid of you giving them hell?

isnt this something we should think about

talk about?

the dark places others dwell

because of a human induced hell?

i want more places of worship

besides just churches

places of hope, of peace

non judgemental

spots where we can break bread

and share each piece

i want forgiveness

i want reparations

i want bravery

courage

and safe places

truth

honesty

and vulnerability

is the air i want to breathe

to get to this divine utopia

we must share the cornucopia

so all may live in abundance

remove the labels

and accept each one for who they choose to be

stop imposing identities

give people safe places to breathe

to bleed

to cry

to heal

war is over, if you want it

but we must first have the courage

to be real, to feel

and to flaunt it

#poember poetry challenge day 3- the me you see vs. the me i see

TITLE: A TRIBUTE TO BROKEN MIRRORS

in order to discuss the me i see

i must first discuss the me i saw

so you can join me

on the journey as we look back in awe

the me i see is in recovery

from everything that went wrong

when i looked in the mirror

the me i saw

was chasin bitter tastes

because everything she had ever tasted was bitter

and she wasnt sure if there would ever be anything sweeter

the me i saw

felt like she didnt belong

measuring her worth

with someone elses ruler

singing someone elses song

the me i saw

used fear as a veil to shield the bugs of reality

she played dead

so no one would go for her head

she gave others control of her life

then in turn blamed herself for the strife

blind to the fact

that they did not regard her as the precious artifact

that she was

that she is

one day un pajarito sent her a message

he told her that she was in charge

that she had to release the demons on herself

and conquer them no matter how large

no matter how real

no matter who they were

she had to let herself feel

relinquish the care

of what they had to say

because it didnt matter

anyway

she shed the betrayals, the mistakes, the self-hate

that had become her cloak

gifted to her by others

tightening around her neck until she began to choke

the me i saw worked with the me i wanted to see

to build a ladder

down into the deepest parts of me

the me i see is closer to the me i have wanted to be

everyday i let go of the past

i forgive myself

i allow myself to be me

i accept myself

the me you see

may be a weirdo

may be silent

may be distant

may appear unattainable

the me you see…….

honestly…..

doesn’t matter.

because truth is i dont know what you can see

i dont know what you have or will see

and if i base my focus on that

shit, ill become mad as a hatter

because no matter what i do

you will always see me through a lens

that is shattered

no matter how genuine, authentic or me i try to be

there will always be somebody who does not want to see

there will always be somebody who puts mud back onto their glasses

when its been cleared

there will always be somebody

who will look at the present through the lenses of the past

trying to make what is gone forever last

i HOPE the me you see

inspires you to be

lifts you out of darkness

and gives you a safe place to breathe

i have always felt misunderstood

a black sheep in a world of giraffes

but even with this thought

i still feel good

and that shit makes me laugh

because i am not my thoughts

and everyday i step into this more and more

i accept

that not everyone will accept me

and the me you see

may very well be

a skewed version, a version before the ladder

but thats okay

because i accept myself

i give myself permission to rise

about all the little eyes and the little lies

the me i see is proud of who she is

and doesnt give a FUCK

if you disagree

because hashtag i do this

and i dont need you to like me, to be free

this life is alchemy

a reflection of the collective consciousness

the me i saw, see

the me you saw, see

the you i saw, see

comprise the we

now

one thing i can guarantee

is that as life goes on

more of me, you will see

because if i dont give you all of me

why am i here?

#poember poetry challenge day 2 – can we feel everything we touch?

i love music

listening, feeling

but if asked to touch music, what would you do?

i would run my fingers down the spine of a dancer

caress the strings of my guitar

put my ear to the floor as the drummer beats real hard

i would touch the embodiments of music

for it is not real until it is embodied

can we touch everything we feel?

can we feel everything we touch?

will i reach the end of the reel

before i even have lunch?

are feelings real?

is anything real?

one of my teachers once told me

that we never truly touch anything

we are so electric

that we repel electricity

i guess thats why i could never feel you hold me

the illusion exists

but doesnt make it past your fingertips

to touch life

we must allow ourselves

to exist

for we are life

and it doesnt get much better than this

touching tangible things

tangible things?

dancing dervishes i divulge

in illusion i indulge

finally feeling free

making my life more me

rarely reaching, always aware

developing diligence

caressing the cosmos

building bridges between

broken paths

paving the way thru which we will all pass

barely breaching the core

creating tools to feel more

i dont know if we can truly touch anything

because when i reach out, i constantly feel empty

but my spirit feels everything

can feel you breathing

and the feelings that give this life meaning

close my eyes and see thru anything

feeling your pulse with my hips

converging with your lips

life is an ebb and flow

teetering between emptiness and over-flow

enjoy the bliss

dive into the abyss

just let go

don’t try to touch everything

with your hands

for some things can not be physically felt

count the money, release the band

how do you feel?

like im not real

empty

my mother calls out to me

my mother calls out to me

“coming!” i reply

i can hear her weep

but i get distracted and years fly by

my mother calls out to me

i hear her voice echo through the littered streets

in shock and disbelief

i turn on the tv

and finally realize why she called to me

her forests are burning

ignorance is herding

you can not un-see, un-feel

the cries of your mother

i can not un-see the despair that runs through the streets

you speak of our earth like she is not there below your feet

holding you up

giving you air to breathe

long walks in the park

i inhale and smell the trash

the trucks drive by and pollute my air

their very presence brash

plastic blows through my hair

i look up and the clouds rumble in despair

the era of irresponsibility is over

from your ignorance

i am now sober

sobered up by the burning trees

the extinct animals

the ever-growing disease

climate change is not a hippie principle

climate change is political

when sectors of our earth are wrongly claimed

you all show up to scream and rage

but wheres the claim now that you’re to blame

are you willing to change your day to day?

the world is not big enough for our reckless consumption

the damage is fact

not just assumption

resources are finite

the world is being born again for the first time

will your kids have clean air to breathe?

the lungs of our earth are on fire

how can we resuscitate her if yall keep calling her a liar?

this is not about the past

its about the present, the future

and how we can change-fast

theres plenty of fish in the sea

but that number is not equal to infinity

yes burgers are good

but why is the air dirtier in the hood?

WHY DOESNT FLINT HAVE CLEAN WATER?

our brothers and sisters are polluted, poisoned everyday

and all we do is clock in, scroll down and zombie away

climate change is real

climate change is political

impoverished and marginalized communities feel the heat before you do

they’ve felt the warfare in our air

the impact of our meat

pollution

and dirty ass streets

protect our earth

pick up your trash

to consciousness, lets give birth

and stop all this clash

clean air is a right

affordable housing is a right

these are all climate issues

if you dont believe it

then heres a tissues, into which you can spit your ignorance

cause this isnt a debate

this is facts

the glaciers are melting

and they dont form back

our brothers and sisters on islands

can tell you all about that

extinction is forever

over the last decade 160 species have gone extinct

not to mention the change in the weather

this is not some esoteric thing that hippies preach

this is real and it is here

and it is up to us to ensure the future of us

the future is unpredictable

but what we do in the present

can help foreshadow

educate, organize

be wise

for climate change is happening, right before your eyes

self-fulfilling prophecy: an autobiography

we are all prophecies living in the moments before it is fulfilled.

we create our destinies, our stories, our self-talk, our futures. we give life to everything we live through. this moment is the building block of every other moment to come. the embodiment of the infinite present moment. it is all we have. it is difficult to release and allow. it is overwhelming and deafening to sift through the talk of the mind and find the truth. the core.

relentless in my embodiment of self-deprecating thoughts

i constantly fight against the clock

is this what i want to be

are they all laughing at me

what will it take for me to see

beyond your perception

into the eternal mirror of perfection

in which i am reflected

the mirror of divinity

with which i have chosen to see

man its funny when your friends show their ass

bow down and moon ya, with so much class

people are rarely who they say they are

because words begin in the mind

which is already too far

from the kind

of connection required

to truly see why to form you,

the universe has conspired

i am a whirlwind of fear of anxiety of love of resilience. i bow to the essence, the ever-presence. close my eyes when i walk past you cause i don’t care what you look like. tired of seeing, looking for something with meaning. within my eyelids i see visions of the future, with which i become obsessed like the kama sutra. hold me close, let me kiss your toes. in search of another with which to dance freely to the sound of the thunder.