reflections from the wrong side of the glass

i like to stare out windows, at ceilings, walls, people. the mindlessness of it. the longing of it. of watching something happen outside of you, almost opens a portal to the infinite longing that lives within. i find myself wanting so many things, craving so many things, longing.

there’s a tree outside of this window, a big apartment building. all of the apartment windows have three rectangles up and down and double panes. i can’t see through, just some pieces of furniture in some windows. most are empty, waiting for people with their hammers and nails to come in and make it into something. the tree is just there, sometimes the leaves sway, sometimes not. the cars pass by and the people skate, bike, walk. most don’t even notice i’m watching them. the gate opens and closes and i can’t see anyone coming in or out, i just assume they are because the gate is opening, and closing.

but it’s quite possible that there’s no one coming in or out. that it’s simply opening or closing because it’s a malfunction, or an illusion- the way the light hits the gate. i also don’t know where any of the people are going, or where they came from or if they’re even human. i’m sure most of you have noticed the rise of the robot. modern day transformers. except they stay robots and forget their human origins. i can hear them in the background as i watch the tree deciding to sway, or not.

they sound like clones, obsessively speaking about falsities taken to be realities. synthetic. i can hear the malfunctions in their voice, the periods of silence where they don’t know what else to choke up. constant chatter, constant noise fills the looking glass. as it’s reflections divert away from the image it so poignantly places on display.

but on the other side of the glass… it’s quiet, slow, contemplative. nuanced, generalized. mindless. shapeless. all left to interpretation. to illusion. to imagination.

i want to live inside the glass. cross the threshold to the other side. live amongst the nuance, fully embrace the mindlessness. sway with the trees, contemplate coming and going with the cars and the bikes. walk in the peace. i don’t want to be on this side anymore with it’s loudness and empty chatter. i want to be on the other side.

FIRE MEDITATION

Fire is healing. The earth provides us with all that we need to heal, her elements are our elements. we are one. fire burns, disintegrates. leaves nothing but ashes in its path. set aflame all the things that live within you that you no longer want in your home. remember, you can not set another’s house on fire. you cannot control what goes on outside of your home. you can not control the flames that rage outside, only those that rage within. focus. control. release.

allow yourself to use this as inspiration to sit in silence with a candle, or by a fire. focus on the flames, feel the heat. set your intention, then watch it burn.

fire has been used as a method to cleanse the air and as a method of worship for…well, probably for as long as the earth has been the earth. “WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE!” 🎶 it was one of the first tools that we discovered as a species, it is what allows us to cook our food, to feel heat, to drive cars to experience electricity. fire is electric. it can be devastating, like the fires that rage in california or the MAN MADE fires that burn down our forests.

regardless, fire is one of the most powerful elements and tools that we have on this earth. candles are one of my favorite things in the world. because through the fire we can experience aromatherapy and connect deeper to self. i invite you all to find a little fire in your life, be it literal or figurative. allow the fire to light your passions, burn away all things no longer meant for you. allow the fire to burn the paths that you should not take and leave a trail of ashes leading you towards home. i love you.

30 day poetry challenge

GREETINGS POETS! i invite you all to embark on this 30 day poetry challenge for the month of november and december. #poember

follow the prompts on every day, record yourself and hashtag #poember

this is to promote self growth and confidence. to own your voice and show up in the world more authentically you! research the topics and develop a stance through self reflection. give it a shot! happy writing 🦋🦋🦋🦋

Freedom…Freedumb?

I look around and see a world. A world plagued with experiences that only I have had. With thoughts that only I have thought, scenes only i have seen, feelings only i have felt. i look at this world and i feel trapped. trapped in a cage of my own experience, my own thought, my own creation.

banging on the walls, begging for an out. where the wall meets the floor, i find a crack. i get on my knees and peer out of my world and into the universe. i see people laughing, people crying, cars crashing, waitresses dashing, planes flying, i see a universe in motion. i see worlds colliding and coming apart. i see stars falling, stars shining, constellations leading the way. i look around this universe and i see so many worlds. so many worlds revolving around the same sun. the sun of love. the sun of light. the sun of humanity. i sit back and lean my head against my world. i look around my world and bleakness, fear stare back like daggers digging into my retina. i close my eyes in pain as the blood of truth drips from my ducts. my world is stained with the blood of truth, the truth which was once aloof is now all i can see. it drips from my thoughts and stains my beliefs. i no longer know what is me?

is this universe i see really part of me? am i part of that ethereal whole? is my world just as important to the revolution of love? does the sun wait for me? will it burn the walls of my cage if i get close enough? will love save me if i let it?

i walk towards the door of my once comforting cage. i bang on it, i scream, i kick, i cry. i dont know why. why. why do i cry. why does it hurt… what is pain in a world of love? i fall to my knees as i bang and i plead. then and only then can i finally see, that the universe is me. and i’ve been banging from the inside. i am free.

sea-mmetry

i close my eyes

in a loving embrace

bow my head

put my hands to your face

i can feel your heartbeat

see its syncopated rhythym

creating portals

bending with mine

no longer mere mortals

an ocean in time

with your motion i align

floating in your sea

sky is all i can see

the waves crash on my body

your soul waves in mine

tsunami

weaving in and out of your rhythym

becoming paralyzed with submission

the lightness of my body

feels heavy floating in this lobby

the waves hit like bricks

the surface is making me sick

no boat, no oar

i long for the core, inhale and turn my back on the shore

yes, im unsure but i cant stand the surface anymore

i dive to the deep

swim through the bright corals in your reef

the creatures of the deep…blue..sea

they look at me

perplexed

unsure of what i’ll do next

i swim past sunken ships, unmarked boxes

shards of glass, resurrected creatures of the past

until, alas!

feet hit bottom

beneath them an x

i sweep the sand and find the misunderstood vex

a barnacled box covered in rusty locks

tangled in the weeds

from here i hear the beats

the box seems to breather

my lungs compress

as i open the box

and exhale my only breath

the rhythym of my exhale

intertwines the draining of the ocean

an uproarious cacophony of the sea

married to all you have ever

and will ever bleed

i delight in the sight

and dance to the liberation

freedom from castration

in exchange for the ocean

the box has gifted me you

in your purest, full of emotion