FIRE MEDITATION

Fire is healing. The earth provides us with all that we need to heal, her elements are our elements. we are one. fire burns, disintegrates. leaves nothing but ashes in its path. set aflame all the things that live within you that you no longer want in your home. remember, you can not set another’s house on fire. you cannot control what goes on outside of your home. you can not control the flames that rage outside, only those that rage within. focus. control. release.

allow yourself to use this as inspiration to sit in silence with a candle, or by a fire. focus on the flames, feel the heat. set your intention, then watch it burn.

fire has been used as a method to cleanse the air and as a method of worship for…well, probably for as long as the earth has been the earth. “WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE!” 🎶 it was one of the first tools that we discovered as a species, it is what allows us to cook our food, to feel heat, to drive cars to experience electricity. fire is electric. it can be devastating, like the fires that rage in california or the MAN MADE fires that burn down our forests.

regardless, fire is one of the most powerful elements and tools that we have on this earth. candles are one of my favorite things in the world. because through the fire we can experience aromatherapy and connect deeper to self. i invite you all to find a little fire in your life, be it literal or figurative. allow the fire to light your passions, burn away all things no longer meant for you. allow the fire to burn the paths that you should not take and leave a trail of ashes leading you towards home. i love you.

the cyclical nature of creation

reading helps me find my voice. just as “ello poppet” helps me speak a british accent. and “pulling a string” on my body helps me to create a character in improv. for every creation there is a model. if this is true then who created the first model? did the originators of all creations model their creations after anything other than the visions in their heads?

reading helps me find my voice. picks me up and places me into a world where there are only words, there is only literature. all else is white noise to the soundtrack of the writer. i read and words flow to me like i am the shore and the words are the ocean. endlessly crashing into me, seemingly retreating but always coming back to caress my feet. words are truly magical, they create nations and burn them down. they light the fires of love and give meaning to the days and nights. what would the world be without words? what would we use to express, how would we communicate? what other universal form of interaction would we create? would all be music? art? and without a universal model, would there be endless originality? endless creation? or is all creativity recycled at some point in time?

it seems an absolute truth to me that without eachother we can not create. however it also seems to me a truth that with eachother we can not create. something of a yin and yang this thought. that in order to create there must be a certain cyclical element specific to the art of creation and a certain linear element specific to the creator.

my mind spins with ideas. i am rich in ideas yet so so poor in creation. ideas are only ideas if they are not put to action. i could drown in a sea of ideas before i ever build a raft. however when i allow myself to look around the sea, maybe dive below and explore the carcasses of the past. i am overcome with ideas, with inspiration. i could build a million rafts from simply seeing that one raft was built one million years ago. there is something comforting in the knowledge that one of the mystery humans of the past has had similar ideas and of them created a raft with which to float amongst them.

all this to say, when we save ourselves, we save others. when we allow ourselves to create, to be; when we have the courage to create a model, a blueprint of a raft in which to float the sea of life. we create a portal into the minds of others, which they can tap into for centuries to come.

this is the cyclical nature of creation.

i love u

on forgiveness

It’s saturday and i’m being hard on myself…again.

most of my life, i didn’t share many opinions or take many sides because i had this internalized fear of being wrong or politically incorrect or being misunderstood. truly what this boils down to is the need for acceptance and validation. something that i have personally struggled with. yesterday i voiced an opinion in front of a group of people that was pretty strong, pretty to one side, pretty bold and unique. after saying this i was struck with thoughts of guilt, remorse, and incessant questioning “should i have said that?” “did i say it right?” “did they understand?” “did i offend them?” “was i wrong?”

these thoughts continued on to the night and i woke up this morning still feeling unsure if those people “liked me” or not because of an opinion i expressed.

let’s start off by saying that feelings like this can not be overcome until they are acknowledged and worked through. understanding is a concept that is very undervalued and under utilized in many spaces, but specifically, in our own headspace. if we don’t understand something, we can’t come to healthy, informed conclusions. we just continue to sit in this perpetual torment. whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

ME TO ME: when you have opinions you must always be willing to yield or stand by them. to listen to others if your opinion has hurt them or if they seek further clarification. you must give others the chance to understand you, to hear you. and you must give yourself the opportunity to understand yourself and others. if someone doesn’t like you based off of an opinion or based off of anything, really IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. you do not have to feel guilty about having an opinion that is different from the majority, especially if it’s not likely to be understood. you have to allow yourself space to be, to feel, to think, to fuck up, to grow. don’t seek validation from others, don’t mold to fit others standards, don’t try to “fit in”. and don’t allow the opinions and thoughts of others to rule and dictate your life. what someone else thinks about you is none of your business.

LET IT GO.

i love you.

#poember poetry challenge day 3- the me you see vs. the me i see

TITLE: A TRIBUTE TO BROKEN MIRRORS

in order to discuss the me i see

i must first discuss the me i saw

so you can join me

on the journey as we look back in awe

the me i see is in recovery

from everything that went wrong

when i looked in the mirror

the me i saw

was chasin bitter tastes

because everything she had ever tasted was bitter

and she wasnt sure if there would ever be anything sweeter

the me i saw

felt like she didnt belong

measuring her worth

with someone elses ruler

singing someone elses song

the me i saw

used fear as a veil to shield the bugs of reality

she played dead

so no one would go for her head

she gave others control of her life

then in turn blamed herself for the strife

blind to the fact

that they did not regard her as the precious artifact

that she was

that she is

one day un pajarito sent her a message

he told her that she was in charge

that she had to release the demons on herself

and conquer them no matter how large

no matter how real

no matter who they were

she had to let herself feel

relinquish the care

of what they had to say

because it didnt matter

anyway

she shed the betrayals, the mistakes, the self-hate

that had become her cloak

gifted to her by others

tightening around her neck until she began to choke

the me i saw worked with the me i wanted to see

to build a ladder

down into the deepest parts of me

the me i see is closer to the me i have wanted to be

everyday i let go of the past

i forgive myself

i allow myself to be me

i accept myself

the me you see

may be a weirdo

may be silent

may be distant

may appear unattainable

the me you see…….

honestly…..

doesn’t matter.

because truth is i dont know what you can see

i dont know what you have or will see

and if i base my focus on that

shit, ill become mad as a hatter

because no matter what i do

you will always see me through a lens

that is shattered

no matter how genuine, authentic or me i try to be

there will always be somebody who does not want to see

there will always be somebody who puts mud back onto their glasses

when its been cleared

there will always be somebody

who will look at the present through the lenses of the past

trying to make what is gone forever last

i HOPE the me you see

inspires you to be

lifts you out of darkness

and gives you a safe place to breathe

i have always felt misunderstood

a black sheep in a world of giraffes

but even with this thought

i still feel good

and that shit makes me laugh

because i am not my thoughts

and everyday i step into this more and more

i accept

that not everyone will accept me

and the me you see

may very well be

a skewed version, a version before the ladder

but thats okay

because i accept myself

i give myself permission to rise

about all the little eyes and the little lies

the me i see is proud of who she is

and doesnt give a FUCK

if you disagree

because hashtag i do this

and i dont need you to like me, to be free

this life is alchemy

a reflection of the collective consciousness

the me i saw, see

the me you saw, see

the you i saw, see

comprise the we

now

one thing i can guarantee

is that as life goes on

more of me, you will see

because if i dont give you all of me

why am i here?